Tuesday 26 April 2011

Dear Random Girls in my apartment at 5am. I Want Gummy Bears, Not Sex - m4ww - 28 (Austin)

There's the whole opening scene for a movie in this post from craigslist Austin. And possibly a part for Sandra Bullock.

So I had a bizarre, weird, sexy morning...
I went to sleep in my living room watching this alien invasion movie called Skyline. I'd say I fell asleep between 1AM and 1:30AM. I was dreaming about eating gummy bears and playing jump-rope, and then BAM! I woke up to 3 chicks barging in the door at 5 AM, yes three sexy girls, one blonde, two brunettes. I never met them before, nor invited them to a sexy party at my place. They had more than a few drinks I suppose. The pretty blonde exclaimed "Hey wake up!" and then she flashed me, it was nice perky... yet rude awakening. Then she tapped on my junk and says " Penis! Tee hee". If I was 17 and a half again, this would have been a dream come true. Sorry but, I do not get boners right after waking up from REM sleep. I want gummy bears, not sex. 

So I'm like WTF? First of all, sorry, I'll play skeet skeet bang bang when I get to know you, unless you're Sandra Bullock. I asked her what her name was, it wasn't Sandra so I forgot it already. I'm just too groggy... correction, I am very groggy.
I am not up to do anything with these girls, no pun intend. Anyway I just walked to my bedroom and napped. They disappeared when I went back out for a bowl of cereal. Didn't get much sleep today. That was totally random...

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Monday 25 April 2011

Davis Square, bad sweater dress - m4w - 39 (somerville)

Let's hope her grey sweater dress was intentionally ill-fitting. From craigslist Boston:

Last Thursday. You were wearing a grey sweater dress that was so ill-fitting (your underwear lines made me laugh, but in a good way), that I thought, oh, only a wonderful woman would be so unselfconscious, so brave, as to say I am going to be beautiful in spite of rules and regulations. And you were.

Friday 22 April 2011

I bought you flowers in traffic - m4w - LA

Romance in the traffic jam. From craigslist Los Angeles:

5:30PM Tuesday April 19th 2011, I let you into traffic in front of me, I was immediately taken by your beauty. You had such a glow about you. A nice girl is hard to find. I'm not the type to be so stricken with butterflies, but I was!! And it just seemed like the right thing to do when I bought you the flowers. My only regret is not putting a note in them after I told the guy to bring them to your car. SHOOT!!! lol, so I leave it up to fate..... my first thought was CL missed connections, hopefully yours is as well. Even if we never meet, or see each other again, I hope you know that you made an impact on me. And that was well worth the cost of the flowers. All the best to you, may your dreams become your reality. ;) In the best of possible outcomes, you might read this, prove to me that it's you, tell me a street that we were on... the ball is in your court now...

Thursday 21 April 2011

Runner wearing a cheeseburger - w4m - 25 (mile 20)

A marathon romance?  Or is it all too cheesy? From craigslist Boston.

Thanks for re-routing yourself to my side of the street to give me a kiss, even though you weren't in Wellesley anymore! Can we make that happen again? But maybe after a first date? Because it would be a shame to miss the opportunity to get to know someone who can look that good in a burger costume.
Nice pace through the Newton Hills, by the way : )

Wednesday 20 April 2011

You carried me through the puddle - w4m - 24 (Long Island City)

Old-fashioned chivalry should never be underestimated. From craigslist New York:


We were both descending the stairs at Queensboro Plaza tonight around 10:30pm. You turned to look behind you and for a second we made eye contact. As we continued, there was a huge puddle about half a foot deep of water ahead of us and you turned back to me again. You must have seen my sad face because a second later you offered to carry me through the puddle. Before I could really say anything, you swept me off my feet. I'm in awe and I'd like to meet you again.

You slapped my ass at Pentagon Gallery last night (on 4/16). - m4w - 26

Impatient ass slapping at the Gallery can really inspire a man. From craigslist Chicago:


If you're the short-haired brunette who, on April 16, did just that to a guy, and who then said "sorry, I just need you to move," please respond. We really need to go out for lunch, sometime.

Wednesday 13 April 2011

To the mustachioed man on the bike I almost ran over - w4m - 23 (7-11 on Guadalupe)

Running over the man you lust after can put a spoke in any potential relationship. From craigslist Austin:

I am so incredibly sorry. A bunch of my friends were in the car with me and we had just commented about how cool you were bookin' it on your bike with that awesome curlie-cued mustache, and there I went spacing out and forgetting to put on my turn signal or even look to see if anyone was coming. I'm usually very respectful of bicyclists on the road and I felt just awful about almost mowing you down with my 1500-lb death machine. For what it's worth that slide you did to avoid being hit was pretty sick. Keep on being cool and I promise that will never happen again on my part!

Tuesday 12 April 2011

Good Lord! Will u dig my ditch? - w4m - 41 (Pompano)

Digging in the dirt can be a mighty turn-on.  From craigslist Austin:

I have never seen you at this place before, but I see you there all the time now. You are outside digging in dirt by a generator or AC unit...AND LOOKIN SO DAMN FINE! You wear a mask and a tank top ( I think ur bald as well...) If you are single...PLEASE LET ME TOUCH THAT SILKY BLACK BODY OF YOURS...YOU ARE TOO DAMNED FINE BOY!!
If you are single and read craigslist, tell me what place your working at.


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Thursday 7 April 2011

Athena goddess of heroic endeavours - Sat - m4w - 28 SOMA / south beach)

Athena makes an appearance in earthly form on craigslist San Francisco:

Of all the places and situations I had to meet you this was one of the last I would have picked. Why couldn't have just stayed as a pretty woman that caught my eye and not turned into a smart, funny, interesting object of my affection and desire. I can't tell you how surprised and pleased I was by the conversation we had and how the setting made it all the more entertaining to be talking about things that seemed lofty and intellectual in that environment. As unlikely as it is, if you happen to read this I think there might be something here between us and I'd like the opportunity to see what that might be. If it makes a difference I can fully accept you being in that place and doing what you want to do, but I can't go visit you there again, as much as the boyish and impulsive part of me wants to.

Wednesday 6 April 2011

Banking on love

Is there anything more romantic than a sheet of plate glass between a bank teller and her/his customer?  First we find this from a bank customer on craigslist Washington:

Ok how many deposits do i have to make ?? - m4w - 39 (TD manassas)
My favorite bank teller with the little Black Nissan- starbucks or lunch ??? lmk which one
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And then this from a teller on craigslist San Diego.

you come in and make deposits - m4w - 30 (encinitas)
You are a tall blonde that comes into my branch and
do the deposits for your company. I just have to tell you that
I think you are gorgeous! If you see this tell me what bank and send a pic!

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Tuesday 5 April 2011

You were schmering my bagel - w4w - 44 (Berkeley)

Rarely can a cream bagel have seemed more suggestive… From craigslist San Francisco:

You served me at Noah's the other day. The way you glanced at me as you spread that cream cheese on my bagel made my mind wander. I ordered Poppyseed, but baby you made me want an Everything. Your hair is blonde and have skin as smooth and off-white as manila folders. Hopefully I caught your eyeballs when I gave you an extra glance on my way out. Don't worry I'll be back though, if not for the bagels, at least for the cream. Thanks for heatin' up my toaster.

Monday 4 April 2011

"Catch Me If You Can" and I didn't... - m4m - 28 (Midtown)

Is our theatrical poster making a bit of a drama over this Missed Connection? From craigslist New York:

Thursday night at the preview performance of catch me if you can...the minute I walked into the theatre I saw you and I could not take my eyes off of you. Luck would have it you were sitting in the row in front of me, I know you kept catching me staring at you and I apologize, that was totally ungentlemanly of me...at intermission you asked to sit in the empty seats next to me (i was so taken back by you i totally lost my swagger and lost any cool that I normally have) I sat the entire second act planning what I was going to say to you after the show but you left the minute curtain call finished...now im left making a cl missed connection hoping to catch u like hanratty looking for frank (ouch lol that was lame sorry)
You were wearing a red tshirt, diamond studs in your ear, super short light hair, and a small shopping bag from things i'm assuming you bought earlier...I hope to find you and get to chat with you, I hate myself for not taking the opportunity to talk to you at intermission when my friend went to the bathroom...and now I can't get you out of my head
If by some twist of fate you or someone you know sees this...tell me where your shopping bag was from or some way of letting me know its you...I enjoyed very much enjoying that show with you tonight.