Dear Random Girls in my apartment at 5am. I Want Gummy Bears, Not Sex - m4ww - 28 (Austin)

There's the whole opening scene for a movie in this post from craigslist Austin. And possibly a part for Sandra Bullock.

So I had a bizarre, weird, sexy morning...
I went to sleep in my living room watching this alien invasion movie called Skyline. I'd say I fell asleep between 1AM and 1:30AM. I was dreaming about eating gummy bears and playing jump-rope, and then BAM! I woke up to 3 chicks barging in the door at 5 AM, yes three sexy girls, one blonde, two brunettes. I never met them before, nor invited them to a sexy party at my place. They had more than a few drinks I suppose. The pretty blonde exclaimed "Hey wake up!" and then she flashed me, it was nice perky... yet rude awakening. Then she tapped on my junk and says " Penis! Tee hee". If I was 17 and a half again, this would have been a dream come true. Sorry but, I do not get boners right after waking up from REM sleep. I want gummy bears, not sex. 
So I'm like WTF? First of all, sorry, I'll play skeet skeet bang bang when I get to know you, unless you're Sandra Bullock. I asked her what her name was, it wasn't Sandra so I forgot it already. I'm just too groggy... correction, I am very groggy.
I am not up to do anything with these girls, no pun intend. Anyway I just walked to my bedroom and napped. They disappeared when I went back out for a bowl of cereal. Didn't get much sleep today. That was totally random...

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Davis Square, bad sweater dress - m4w - 39 (somerville)

Let's hope her grey sweater dress was intentionally ill-fitting. From craigslist Boston:

Last Thursday. You were wearing a grey sweater dress that was so ill-fitting (your underwear lines made me laugh, but in a good way), that I thought, oh, only a wonderful woman would be so unselfconscious, so brave, as to say I am going to be beautiful in spite of rules and regulations. And you were.

I bought you flowers in traffic - m4w - LA

Romance in the traffic jam. From craigslist Los Angeles:

5:30PM Tuesday April 19th 2011, I let you into traffic in front of me, I was immediately taken by your beauty. You had such a glow about you. A nice girl is hard to find. I'm not the type to be so stricken with butterflies, but I was!! And it just seemed like the right thing to do when I bought you the flowers. My only regret is not putting a note in them after I told the guy to bring them to your car. SHOOT!!! lol, so I leave it up to fate..... my first thought was CL missed connections, hopefully yours is as well. Even if we never meet, or see each other again, I hope you know that you made an impact on me. And that was well worth the cost of the flowers. All the best to you, may your dreams become your reality. ;) In the best of possible outcomes, you might read this, prove to me that it's you, tell me a street that we were on... the ball is in your court now...

Runner wearing a cheeseburger - w4m - 25 (mile 20)

A marathon romance?  Or is it all too cheesy? From craigslist Boston.

Thanks for re-routing yourself to my side of the street to give me a kiss, even though you weren't in Wellesley anymore! Can we make that happen again? But maybe after a first date? Because it would be a shame to miss the opportunity to get to know someone who can look that good in a burger costume.
Nice pace through the Newton Hills, by the way : )

You carried me through the puddle - w4m - 24 (Long Island City)

Old-fashioned chivalry should never be underestimated. From craigslist New York:


We were both descending the stairs at Queensboro Plaza tonight around 10:30pm. You turned to look behind you and for a second we made eye contact. As we continued, there was a huge puddle about half a foot deep of water ahead of us and you turned back to me again. You must have seen my sad face because a second later you offered to carry me through the puddle. Before I could really say anything, you swept me off my feet. I'm in awe and I'd like to meet you again.

You slapped my ass at Pentagon Gallery last night (on 4/16). - m4w - 26

Impatient ass slapping at the Gallery can really inspire a man. From craigslist Chicago:


If you're the short-haired brunette who, on April 16, did just that to a guy, and who then said "sorry, I just need you to move," please respond. We really need to go out for lunch, sometime.

To the mustachioed man on the bike I almost ran over - w4m - 23 (7-11 on Guadalupe)

Running over the man you lust after can put a spoke in any potential relationship. From craigslist Austin:

I am so incredibly sorry. A bunch of my friends were in the car with me and we had just commented about how cool you were bookin' it on your bike with that awesome curlie-cued mustache, and there I went spacing out and forgetting to put on my turn signal or even look to see if anyone was coming. I'm usually very respectful of bicyclists on the road and I felt just awful about almost mowing you down with my 1500-lb death machine. For what it's worth that slide you did to avoid being hit was pretty sick. Keep on being cool and I promise that will never happen again on my part!