My foot is fine, but you left a construction boot mark on my shoe - w4m

Tread softly, for you are treading on my dreams… From craigslist Ottawa.

You stepped on my foot and well, you left a mark on my shoe. Anyways, just letting you know that you're quite handsome with your blue eyes. Tthis happened yesterday, Tuesday Feb. 22nd. Location: 95 toward dt (around 9:30pm)

You served me papers today :-P - m4w - 30 (Aurora)

Proof that love can be a matter of life and debt. From craigslist Denver.

You waited for me to get home and served some papers to me because my ex didn't pay her bills lol. I wanted to ask you out, but damn that's an awkward situation haha!! Hmmm is Cl less awkward? Probably not, but whatevs :-)

Hit me up!

We got married last night? - m4w - 37

This could be a scene from the movie Hangover… From craiglist Portland

I met you at a bar last night and we had a few drinks...
me: handsome, good looking guy, wearing a $3000 suit, a magician.
you: blonde or brunette or something, big cans.
things got a little wild and we started daring each other to do some crazy stuff, you dared me to ride in a shopping cart down hill... I dared you to rob a gas station.
i think we got married

Your name was... Crindy? reply with my initials if you remember this.
p.s. we totally consummated it

The guy that slept on my couch - w4m - 21 (sunset )

Like shoes that pass in the night… From craigslist Las Vegas

So....I don't know who you are or why you were there. But when I got
Home last night you were asleep on my couch. And looked like you
Were having a "nice" dream about pitching a tent or something.

Anyway my roomate thinks I'm crazy and she says she didn't
Have anyone over. But you left your shoes....weird I know

Well if you slept on some chicks couch last night and want your
Shoes back or want to kick it let me know.

Maybe next time you can sleep on a bed...

Last night on top of the train - m4w - 23 (Some bar in CH)

Love is like a train, it moves too fast. Sounds like quite a night… From craigslist Raleigh

We met, danced, drank, laughed, kissed, climbed on top of the train and got yelled at. I'm glad I met you to remind me there is real women still out there, even ones who study epidemiology! I hope to one day run into you again.

You said you planned on dyeing your underwear. - m4m - 23 (starbucks - vancouver, wa)

From craigslist Portland. A possible romance to dye for begins in Starbucks…

You came through the starbucks drive-thru tonight and we were being chatty (/maybe a little flirty?) while your drink was being made. When I asked what you were up to, you showed me a packet of blue dye and said you couldn't handle how much those white underwear look like diapers.

I like that you polled your facebook friends to pick the new color for your undies, and I really like that you're the sort of person who thinks all of that is perfectly appropriate conversation to be making with the person who's taking your money and handing you coffee - the person who doesn't know your name, and now regrets not asking for it.

You made my evening. I'd love to buy you a drink sometime - coffee or otherwise. Tell me what you were drinking tonight and I'll tell you my number.

You farted in Whole Foods - m4w - 30 (Boston)

From craigslist Boston. All that wholefood fibre can result in both unexpected flatulence and romance…

You were the tall brunette with the near-perfect body who farted in the bread section last night. I was the tall guy next to you who asked, "Was that you?" You quickly replied, "No! Wasn't me" and almost seemed insulted I would ask. As the stink grew, you continued to deny the flatulence, but it was evident. 

I tried to get rid of the stench by waving two loaves of ciabatta bread. You stormed off in an angry huff. You are beautiful, and even if you're a liar and fart like a Clydesdale, I'd love to meet up sometime.

·      

Your eyepatch inspires me - 24 (Portland)

From craigslist Portland. There's more to this than meets the eye…

You were leaving Henry's. As you turned your head to check both ways before crossing the street (keeping it safe :brownie points), I couldn't help but notice your stunning eye patch. You see, I too am missing an eye! You have inspired a whole new me! My brand-spanking new eye patch is truly a thing to behold, and that is why I was hoping you would be interested in sitting down to dinner with me, so we can admire each other's taste in functional accessories.

I am not in town much (live in the Boston area), but I would love to treat you to dinner and a movie. Perhaps if you are in New England we could take a jaunt in the woods, hit up a beer festival, maybe play some paintball? Really, the sky's the limit when it comes to the fun times we could have in each other's company: all you need do is message me with your ideal date, and *poof*, it will magically assemble itself :-) 

P.S: Hope you like trout and clams ! Fond regards,

The B. Bear.

Shitting at Walmart - m4w - 33 (Cincinnati Oh)

From craigslist Cincinnati. I'm lost for words…

Me: sitting in the car at the Ft.wright Walmart waiting for my buddy to grab the beer.
You: slipped between the dodge ram and the prius and took a shit in the parking lot.

I guess you didn't see me.... but if you get this < hit me up. that was pretty fuckin hot. i didnt think chicks did that stuff......wow

Missed Connections buzzwords

Nice piece from The Mission blog in San Francisco on the most popular words used in MC posts. Bridget Huber searched through Craigslist San Francisco's Missed Connections for the last two months to see which keywords were most often used.

Eyes (more than 40 mentions) and hair (30 mentions) were the most popular physical features while the word 'smile' appeared in 34 posts. Other buzzwords included glasses (16 times), tattoos (9), hoodies (9), dresses (6), beards (5) beanie (5) and ass (3).

Unsurprisingly speech impediment, compost and a centaur were all mentioned only once! Computers notched just four mentions, so tough luck geeks.

BART was the best place to get a missed connection (15 posts) while other MC hotspots included 16th Street (11), Mission Street (11) and Valencia (8).

Ah, but did any one post mention a person in glasses, with tattoos and a beard wearing a beanie and a dress with a cute ass who resembled a centaur?

I'm the girl that ripped the Picasso at the Met - w4m (New York)

Let's hope no-one bumps into any of Sophie Blackall's Missed Connections paintings at the Love in Transit Valentine's Day Missed Connections Party at the New York Transit Museum tonight.  But if they do it reminds me of one of my favourite Missed Connectons from craigslist New York last year…

I'm the girl that ripped the Picasso at the Met - w4m
This was on Friday at the Met. I remember you from the elevator when we were going from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor. You were the guy wearing the red sweater...

I held the door open for you and you smiled at me. I saw you again in the Cubism section. I was standing in front of The Actor painting by Picasso. You were looking at Matisse's "View of Collioure and the Sea". You were standing there for a while, sketching in a brown notebook. I was about to approach you, but froze up and ended up tripping and falling into the painting leaving a small tear. I think you left before the security got there.

If you read about this in the news the next day, I'm the girl from the elevator.

You ran me over today / Silver VW Beetle Convertible (NW Quimby)

Proof that love can be a hit and run affair from craigslist Portland…

I wasn't paying attention and walked out into the street.
You hit me. Silver VW Beetle convertible.
I survived.
You were startled. And enchanting and gorgeous.
I need to see you again.

Sophie Blackall's art of Missed Connections

Every Missed Connections posting on craigslist paints a mental picture of unlikely trysts. New York artist Sophie Blackall has turned those images into art on her blog missedconnectionsny. Ever wondered what “Tree with legs: Nice pants. I'd like to see more of you... BTW, your dog winked at me” might have looked like? Well, Blackall has drawn the whole scene, of a man carrying a tree on his back complete with winking dog.

Similarly “Furry arms in morning lecture” inspires a funny image of the aforesaid hirsute male student. While the posting “Floral pink jacket on the L -m4w - 26 (Union Square) Can I buy you a drink? -Buffalo plaid jacket” inspires an image of two entwined disembodied jackets.

Blackall, who works full-time as a children’s book illustrator, told the New York Times about her MC addiction: “I got completely sucked in. I lost about two hours of my life reading them and thought this is just an extraordinary mine of material, ranging from the lyrical, poetic to unintentionally hilarious. Many of them threw out ideas for images to me right away.”

Her work manages to be both touching and amusing, not to mention beautiful. Do check it out.

Dog bite! - w4m - 28 (North Chicago)

Love bites can take the most unusual form… from craiglist chicago:

Hello, stranger. I was walking my dog on Saturday and bumped into you, well, my dog's mouth bumped into your face to be exact. He didn't mean to do any harm- was just trying to say hello. Thanks for being so understanding (and handsome!). I feel like we shared a moment. Want to grab a cup of coffee and review my dog's vaccination records? Hope to hear from you.

You helped me aim while I peed in the snowbank last night — m4w (outside that bar)

From craigslist Chicago comes proof that snow (and indeed peeing in snow) is not necessarily a deterrent to the romantically inclined after a few drinks:

You gave me a hand and wanted to help me aim. You were too drunk to write your initials; it came out more like a Jackson Pollock. So we celebrated that. I'm glad no cops or snow plows happened by right then! I was wearing a USMC hoodie and snowpants -- what were you wearing? I reckon I'd like to meet you again.

You hit your head on the subway pole - m4w - 26 (Lorimer/metropolitan)

As if to illustrate the aptness of the New York Transit Museum's Missed Connections Party on Valentine's Day we find on craigslist New York a tale of pole bumping and cold beer maybe leading to heads that bump in the night…

Well these are some long odds, but you hit your head on the subway pole at the Lorimer station, and I gave you a beer to ice your forehead with. Don't know if you'll find this, but I wanted to ask you for your phone number, but my stop came up too fast. 
Michael

Love in Transit: Missed Connections Valentine's Day party at the New York Transit Museum

Find your Missed Connection on Valentine’s Day at the New York Transit Museum's Missed Connections "Love in Transit" Party, on Feb 14, 6-8pm. The most uplifting event of the year is free and open to all lovers of craigslist’s Missed Connections.

Star attractions include New York Times' writer Alan Feuer reading his 'poems' found in Missed Connections and artist Sophie Blackall, creator of the super blog missedconnectionsny exhibiting her wonderful Missed Connections-inspired paintings. These include “Black Dress, D Train” and “I Gave You My Umbrella but the Wrong Directions”.  She's made a special artwork for the event (see above). Framed prints of her work will be available to buy.

The setting is ideal for furtive glances and chance encouters, since the museum’s mezzanine level is underground in a decommissioned subway station in Brooklyn Heights. Party-goers will wonder why they didn’t ask for his/her cell number in the authentic location of the platform-long display of vintage subway cars.

It could certainly lead to some interesting MC entries the following week. Something like:

“Goddess in red dress carrying Sophie Blackall print. Missed you at the Missed Connections party after I spilled my drink over you during Alan Fueur’s first poem and I retreated into the subway carriage exhibit with my chocolate subway token…”

Plus live music from MUNY artists Left on Red and Heidi Cole, cheese, wine, beer from Brooklyn Brewery and chocolate subway tokens from 5th Avenue Chocolatiere.

Could be a first date you'll always remember…

New York Transit Museum, corner of Boerum Pl & Schermerhorn St, Brooklyn Heights.

Wanted: Person to rob house so CSI girl will come back - m4w - 32

This post might read like a "Wanted" ad from the personals but was, in fact, posted among the Missed Connections on craigslist San Francisco by a lovestruck burglary victim seeking to re-connect with the CSI gal who came to investigate the burglary:

Wanted: Person of questionable character to rob my place of residence near the corner of Cole and Waller. Best if you don't have current record on file as the goal is for CSI to come back and check for prints.

Girl from CSI who came by: Sorry if I couldn't keep the stupid grin off my face, I didn't expect you to be so beautiful. The older gentlemen and the woman on your team definitely noticed my enthusiasm to re-enact the crime for you. I found more things besides the bicycle that the thief ran off in the middle of the night may have touched (or can pretend to). Perhaps you can come back to check then maybe drinks?

James...The one who crotch-planted into a closing subway door - w4m - 28 (Train)

Proof that nearly losing your manhood in a subway door is no bar to romantic success… Found on craigslist New York:

Your name is James. You are a teacher. My name is Cody. And you so elegantly slid into the closing subway door at 14th street. Everyone thought you died. Including myself. You sat next to me, I couldn't stop laughing for a good 10 minutes, and I finally decided to ask you how you were, and we chatted till I got off at Atlantic.

Had I had a few moments longer on the train with you- I would have grown a pair and asked you to grab a drink - celebrating the fact you were still alive... But my stop came before I could. Sorry, new train friend. Never done a missed connection on here before- but I thought this random, most hilarious situation warranted one...

If you are randomly out there and read this... let's grab a drink!

Poetic connections...or, "Jesus in red shoes": Missed Connections as "found poetry"

Missed Connections "poetry" is growing into something of a cult thanks to the work of New York Times' writer Alan Feuer. He trawls the Missed Connections section of craigslist New York and publishes the best ads verbatim, merely adding line and stanza breaks and billing the result as "found poetry". He even uses the ad's heading as the title of each "poem".

It’s a game anyone can play – and more should. Indeed, Feuer should be hitting the poetry circuit and giving readings of his work, since what’s striking about his Missed Connections "poems" is... well, how much better they are than most modern poetry.

After all, we know what they’re talking about; they’re not just written to impress other poets, and hey, love is a universal theme.

One of Feuer's latest MC poems found on craigslist reads as follows:

nanny, mother, kidnapper?
3rd times a charm? oh you
with your cute little moccasins
and lazy day stroll. holding a baby of sorts.
maybe its yours
or maybe its just your job
to be awesome
and carry around babies?
either way i think you are
quite cute and im glad i was able
to squeeze out a “hey”
while caring for an old golden retriever
and trying to tame a CRAZY little pug!
want to make an ambient drone
sound track for an 8mm film,
put together a dinosaur puzzle
and eat hummus & onion pita bread? you KNOW you do!

The following MC post, headlined “Jesus in red shoes”, comes from craigslist Portland. It might make a good video with Brad Pitt as Jesus, and definitely deserves to be immortalized in verse:

JESUS IN RED SHOES
You - bearded man with sandy brown hair
and kind eyes. Red sneakers and a blue sweater.
Me - quiet brunette wearing a hat
and all in black.
You were such a gentleman
and let me board the bus before you.
Then you proceeded to chat
with a crazy old lady
about her life drama and such.
I'm sure it made her day lol.
You mentioned cutting your hair
for locks of love as well,
I thought that was really sweet.
When we came to your stop
the way you thanked the driver
was unique and genuine.
I thought you were such a nice person,
you MUST be Jesus
Lol jk

We were handcuffed together to see the Judge… w4w

Love can strike in the most unlikely settings. A reminder of this came in a recent MC post from craigslist New York: 

“If you were the anesthesiologist that put me under – I would like to see you in a social setting.”

Another relationship that could run and run was first aired on craigslist Houston:

“Started the marathon together and then I lost you! You were in better shape than me! Couldn’t find you at the finish!”

Or, to put it another way… “Remember me, I was the one gasping for air and caked with dried salt.”

But my all-time favourite has to be this entry about an encounter from craigslist Chicago:

“STD clinic this morning-white tanktop – you have dark curly hair, you're slim, you were wearing a white tank top and blue jeans. I was seated in front of you, facing you and I was wearing all black, had a coffee and a magazine in my hand. I'm a fool for not introducing myself to you...”

Such boundless hope in such unpromising circumstances represents a triumph of the human spirit over sexual adversity.

And just to prove that no setting is out of bounds for love, try this from craigslist Austin:

“We were handcuffed together to see the judge - w4w (Travis County Jail). We were in on very similar accounts. I just hope everything worked out for you as well as it did for me. My fingers are crossed for you, girl.”

Hmm. Maybe she’ll get in touch on her cell.

You were checking out my brain... w4m...

Here's more evidence of love beating cognitive science. From craigslist Montreal comes a tale of a true connection for one lucky woman underneath the machine that goes bleep... And it's possibly the first time the word "vajazzle" (for the uninitiated that's a crystal-encrusted pubic area) has ever been mentioned in a medical study...

You were checking out my brain... w4m… but literally, because you were performing an MRI study... me: had to remove a nose ring and (probably obviously) wanted to make a joke about vajazzles and MRI machines. you: glasses, unsure of the difference between psychology and cognitive science, You seem nice. I'd love to chat about the study/anything else/everything else.

"Girl with the golden leggings... and a pheasant strapped to her head"

Who needs screenwriters? Hollywood simply has to trawl Missed Connections for its story-lines and opening shots.

Try this MC post from craigslist San Francisco.  Location, costumes, character, cast, all are there:

“Dear Girl with the gold leggings, fancy bike, and pheasant strapped to her head, I saw you at 24th and Valencia today. We walked by each other while you were with your dolled up friends. We smiled at each other and it was nice. You've got a nice smile! Anyway, you're doin' it big, Girl! Well played. Let's hang out and you can listen to all my self deprecating jokes. I'm a really terrible person so there are a lot of them.”

That golden girl with a pheasant strapped to her head is surely kooky with a capital 'K'. Think Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s or Melanie Griffith in Something Wild. The plot might lead to a hotel romance or a road movie; it’s the director’s choice.

And here’s another one from New York craigslist: “Guy walking on Madison with teapot and book - w4m - 20 (Midtown). You were so great. seemed like you would be a really great human. I wish when I saw you I didn't have rain splattered on my glasses. We were around 40th and Madison. anyway, you probably don't even remember me , but just know you have an admirer. Keep carrying tea pots and reading books! oh, and write to me if you feel like it.”

... It could be a scene from an early Woody Allen movie. Cue opening credits as a bookish man with a bent for carrying tea-pots on Madison (maybe an eccentric Brit or an NYU postgrad?) meeting a literary but klutzy girl with rain splattered on her glasses.